Alastor: Scourge of the South Sea

[Deleted]

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Alastor

"He Be no Zora, but a blood drinking demon that can bend storms to his will.
The Scourge  Of The South Sea"
-Termina Fisherman

"Ye lay one finger on my lass, I'll cut your dick off with a rusty razor and shove it so far down your throat you'll be pissin out yer asshole!"
-Alastor

TITLE/NICKNAME: Alastor, Scourge Of The South Sea, Thunderbolt
AGE: 21
RACE: Zora
GENDER: Male
SEXUALITY: Straight
KINGDOM: Termina, Great Bay
TRIFORCE: Power
THEME:

PERSONALITY

Alastor is the most fearsome pirate to ever terrorize the Great Bay. In Termina he is known as the Scourge of the South Sea, he plunders ships that pass through the Great Bay often trade ships from distant lands like Hyrule. He is a relentless murderer taking life without so much as a second thought to whose lives he is ruining. Alastor is a tribalistic savage who worships the demon Majora, often committing atrocities in the name of his patron deity, this worship & belief is due to the tribe that raised him that formed a religion around Majora. His tribal tattoos are unholy markings prevent him from trading on sacred ground without being badly physically burned or causing him bodily harm. He genuinely enjoys causing trouble and making people suffer, he seems to get his kicks by causing chaos and committing evil acts that add to his reputation. Despite his vile nature he has fierce loyalty to those who stay alive around him long enough to call friend, in addition to this he has a softer side only seen by his mate Nova.


LIKES: The Scourge Of The South Sea enjoys spending his days sailing the seas, getting drunk, getting wasted, getting shitfaced,sloshed, plastered, he likes drinking,okay.  He enjoys causing mayhem and carnage getting a kick out of adding to his reputation.

DISLIKES: As a lawless pirate Alastor is not fond of authority figures, this extends to lawmen,guards and anybody in a seat of power.  Freedom is the name of this game and all these kinds of people do is place limits and restrictions on the world.

MOTIVATIONS: Like any sea dog worth his salt he's completely obsessed with treasure and ill gotten gain. Power, gold and protecting his mate Nova are the only things he cares for. Driven forward by greed power and his razor wit his goals are to take what he can and give nothing back.

FEARS: Given his past explained above and below, Alastor fears being imprisoned, holy ground and the Gerudo for what they've done to him. While he rarely shows it when faced with any of these things he'll lash out, like a wild beast.

HISTORY

Rebellion is written into this Zora's blood from the very beginning, he was raised by an ancient tribe that worships the demon Majora. Being trained for evil from birth the young Zora found his sadistic streak quite early in life earning the respect of his fellow tribesmen and his markings that took the from of tribal tattoos depicting the demon Majora. After growing into adulthood he left his tribe and took to the sea unable to deny his Zoran roots any longer, the ocean called out to him and he heeded the call, as if it we're a siren song. It wasn't long before he became the Captain of an infamous pirate crew that quickly started causing problems for anybody stupid enough to get in their way. His ship the Black Bolt became feared throughout Termina's waters causing any who saw the black flag to turn tail and run. Alastor was among the most accomplished pirate Captains of his time having the highest bounty of any criminal in Termina.

However his time as king of the seas in Great Bay would come to an end once the Gerudo pirates caught wind he'd been swimming under their ships and cutting holes in them just to watch them sink, thus they made plans to shipwreck Captain Alastor's career. Attacking in the dead of night the Gerudo pirates sneaked aboard The Black Bolt and murdered everybody only taking the Captain alive. Alastor watched on in terror as his comrades of many years and his beloved ship sank into the ocean below under a barrage of canon fire. Cursing as he started to cause a thunderstorm his enemies knocked him out so prevent him from using his powers. Once he awoke he had been forced into an audience with the Queen of the female pirates. She offered him once chance to join her crew as she admired his cunning and skill, needless to say Alastor spat in her face and she responded with a punishment worse than death. Alastor was to be locked up in a cage hanging out over the edge of the pirates fortress in the blaring sun deprived of water for days.

After almost a week with no water, parts of his fins started to become discolored and would rot. He is a little green around the gills and fins due to having contracted Bay Bilge a rare affliction that is caused when Zora's are deprived of water for extended periods of time. With his handsome face now scared his good looks we're irreparably damaged. Now a semi-rotting almost dead mess he was brought before the pirate Queen and told to beg for his life. However Alastor did no such thing, he wasn't about to be beaten and let the deaths of his crew go so easily. Powered by nothing but rage and a delirious insanity he leaps at the Queen slashing her throat with his fins. When her blood splattered across his face he turned looking to the guards as lightning shot through his eyes. Electricity shot from the heavens and screams of Gerudo women could be heard all over The Great Bay. He fried and slaughtered any guards that would impede his escape as he made his way back into the ocean.

After leaving the fortress the cold water tasted like fresh air of freedom. While having grown more powerful from his horrid imprisonment it also drove him irrepressibly insane. With his ship and crew at the bottom of the sea Alastor takes to committing his crimes by himself and mostly on land these days. His acts of unspeakable evil once landed him in Ikana Asylum where he promptly escaped using his electrical powers and bladed guitar to carve a path through the undead guardians.

APPEARANCE

Alastor is a tall pale blue ocean Zora with many tribal markings and tattoos one even detailing the demon Majora. He has sharp fins he can use to slice his prey open as well as defend himself like a shield. He is a little green around the gills and fins due to having contracted Bay Bilge a rare affliction that is caused when Zora's are deprived of water for extended periods of time. He has black eyes and wears tattered torn up pants with a skull belt buckle.

MAGIC

Lightning Based Magic
Alastor has the ability to command electricity and even conduct it safely through water.

WEAPONS

Razor Storm
Razor storm is a guitar made out of the skeletal remains of a dead shark. It has a hidden feature when the right chord is played razor sharp blades flick out the end transforming it into an axe. In addition to doubling as a weapon channeling his magic into the guitar allows him to create wild electrical storms around the area as he riffs on the guitar. The guitar is in no way magical it just acts as a lightning rod that amplifies the range of his abilities.

EXTRAS

PLAYER ALIAS: Bit or Andrew
FACE CLAIM: -
REFERENCE: Google
ALTS: Sir Raven

[Deleted]

[ASH]

We're getting there

a few things first...

SOME CHANGES ARE NEEDED

Alright, so this is a good start but there are some things we need to go over.

First, I'm noticing a lot of spelling and grammatical mistakes that need to be fixed. We hold ourselves to a higher standard than average. As such, we'd like to maintain our standards and I believe in you.

So, just a couple examples...

"Alastor is the most fearsome pirate to ever pirate terrorize the Great Bay" there's an extra 'pirate' in this sentence, rather simple.


"unable to deny his zoran roots any longer," the name Zora or Zoran should be capitalized as it is the name of a race of people.

There are also a few spelling mistakes like the spelling of Gerudo in a spot or two.

Next...

So, in the plot of our world there isn't any reason that someone who has resided only in Termina should know about the Twili. Their only way out of their realm is through the Twilight Mirror currently on the Isle of Gods. It's a small thing, but a canonical fact.

Also, Alastor's use of magic. Magic is something one earns and it isn't easy to just get, and it sounds like Alastor just suddenly develops this magic just in time to kill a bunch of people. And with the added piece that it is lightning based magic, the type that Zora are particularly weak to, I find this a little difficult to exist.

You also have a magical weapon and a magical ability, and both of those need to be discussed. You can only have one with a beginning character. Either a magical item because you give up your magic ability in creation to enchant an item, or you could have one, maybe two magic abilities within reason. As it stands, your profile does not have that currently and the magic you do have doesn't make sense and seems quite overpowered.

"Alastor has the ability to command electricity and conduct it safely through water, in order to create a barrier for protection or fire lightning bolts at his foes."

This one spell does two things, when it should only do one. Two different abilities are two different magics. Also, lightning conducts in water and as such it can't really be "safely controlled" it's why Zora are weak to it, water conducts electricity.

"...the guitar allows him to create wild electrical storms as he riffs on the guitar."

An electrical storm is a very powerful feat to be able to do, far too powerful for a base magic item. A lightning bolt, that would be fine. Not an entire storm. Please fix this so it is weaker as this is the beginnings of a character.

One last thing, your likes, dislikes...etc. need to be explained, we want to understand this character. Please go in depth, even just a couple sentences is all, to explain these items.

I look forward to seeing your edits and finalizing this character

[Deleted]

Grammer & Lore
So I've corrected all the Gerudo spelling and tackle all of the grammatical errors I spotted. I've also gutted any mention of the Twli from his back story and left his tribe as vague worshipers

Powers
Alastor didn't just develop his magic upon his escape he's had it his entire life, thus why his ship is called the Black Bolt. Honestly I don't think his powers are farfetched at all I wanted his abilities to be rooted in canon so I'm building off of the Zora whose shoes we walk a mile in during Majora's Mask. Over the course of the game Zora Link and one can assume by extension Mikau the guitarist (Given it's his body Link inhabits) are seen to wield electricity quite efficiently on land and even conduct it safely though water. Given his natural affinity for the element I never saw it as a weakness, if anything fire is the big Zora no no, as when hit by electrical Zora Link responds just fine, however you run into a wall of fire he drops like a sack of potatoes and hits the floor causing the screen to black out and reload the area as if he died instead of just taking damage and flying back like normal. I've seen a Zora on site who can wield fire and to me that is far more out of left field than a power they've been displayed using in the game. As for the levels of it climbs to he's no thunder god or anything like that but he's pretty good with it. Like he can't cause a storm on a massive level but he can cause small storms around himself by shooting lightning wildly, think on the level of what a Pikachu can do, no Ash's one just a regular Pikachu.


It'd be nothing bigger or more insane than this.


Channeling through water

Weapon
Onto his weapon the guitar itself isn't magical, the lightning he channels travels down the bones and into the blade acting as a lightning rod, the axe head it metal so it cause the thunder to explode into small electrical storms much like Link's barrier, no bigger at all, again think Pikachu. I read a rule somewhere no magic items to start with but channeling your existing magic into them is okay.

Likes & Dislikes
He's a pirate so I just thought it'd be funny to say he likes getting drunk in a bunch of different ways but yes I'll expand it into a paragraph or two.

[ASH]

ACCEPTED!

THE SHADOWS EMBRACE YOU AND IMBUE YOU

ALASTOR HAS BEEN ACCEPTED!

You've made all the necessary changes, and thus your application has been accepted! Congratulations, your character will be locked and moved to the accepted thread. You are now able to join the rest of Termina. Have fun!