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1. You expanded on his personality, and it was sufficient until the second paragraph where you just left in his outwards appearance; THERE IS A SECTION FOR APPEARANCE. A personality is how they act, much more than how they present themselves. Maybe try expanding on his motivations/fears/dislikes/ etc. How would he react upon coming in contact with some of these? Does his bullheaded determination mean that he would do anything to achieve his goals?
   
   
2. His Age. Just because he is from Termina, does not mean he is 230 years old. Time passes differently there compared to Hyrule, but a year there is still only a year. He would still only be 30 years old despite how much time has passed in Hyrule. 
3. The Appearance is a bit sub par, and the previous paragraph specified that currently resides in personality would find a better home in this section. There is more to appearance than just clothing and aesthetic features, and the second paragraph in your personality brushes up on this. The way they talk, walk and hold themselves in and OUT OF BATTLE is just as important than their physical weight and height ( which you did not clarify ).
   
   
4. Magic is too vague.  There is alot more you can put into this description. Such as going over how many he can fire before feeling some kind of fatigue. I really doubt that he is a master spell craft with only possessing one spell, so keep that in mind, and you still didn't specify how big the energy bolts are LIKE DEBISIS SAID.
5. And Finally, History. Oh boy! I have to reiterate and say, I really doubt that you read the entirety of what Debisis had to say. That, or you disregarded it entirely. Its nice that you gave us some more information but on the other hand, this history for your character goes against too many rules. 
   
   
   1. The first one is metagamming.  Debisis told you that in CANON PLOT, Termina as a whole does not know about Hyrule. Except for the few CANON PC's such as Alexander ( which is not the village elder ), the mayor ( which is not the village elder ) and some fairies ( which is not the village elder ). So once more, there is no possible way, that your character would be from Termina, and end up in Hyrule by the end of your history. Its not happening. If you want to be from Termina, then you are going to be IN Termina until you RP in character a way to Hyrule, which may or may not be soon. My suggestion, be from Hyrule. There is nothing special going on in Termina anyways. 
   2. → A ↓ → A ↓ . What. In. The. Hell. Oh so now your character is the main protag eh? And it was necessary to use the game controls? I'm going to put a big fat NOPE on this. This is disregarding site CANON plot that was written by staff.
      
      
   3. After looking over the remainder of your history... I can not say much else than, STOP TRYING TO REWRITE THE PLOT WE HAVE WROTE! You can either follow it, or you will not be approved. 
      • Using the song of time
      • Meeting and kissing The Goddess of Time (which is canonically Hylia)
      • Becoming Immortal

The eerie natural phenomena; a recorded event that only transpires once every six centuries. The alignment of the world and stars foretelling the prophetic rise of the Bloodmoon, a magical and mysterious occurrence that rarely happens, bringing with it an aura of demise. Records of the Bloodmoon have been noted since the first appearance, but with time, information merely fades into legend, making the mystical night a surprise to all those that live through it.

The Bloodmoon rises once again, the pulsating red glow of the orb radiating magical properties, corruption seething from the enigma. During this rare conundrum, the monsters of the Isle react to the atmosphere with a crazed and frenzied response; attacking villages, or even traveling caravans in each of the separate realms.

Warning - it is rumored that during the Bloodmoon, a lumbering beast awakens, its insatiable hunger driving it to hunt for mortal flesh. Be wary young hero, for if you find yourself in harms way, you may not make it out alive.

The blood moon has brought out the terrifying presence of a Lynel. A beast who stalks the night in search of food to sate it's thirst for battle, and hunger of man. A centaur like creature with the head of a lion, and the body of a horse. These fearsome monsters have lived since ancient times. They possess intense intelligence, resilience, and strength, making them among the most dangerous monsters in all the land. This is compounded by the fact that they have a natural resistance to all elements. You would be wise to challenge a Lynel only if you're very well prepared. Thus the Knight Commander of Holodrum has put out a bounty on this beast, promising treasure to all who would attempt to take it down.